Pete Williams
"Pedro"
Profile: As a larger member of the team, Pedro is keen to point out that he is the only captain to ever lead a club to 2 cups in the Ciren league!!! A wonder to behold for sure; now at uni, Pedro makes the odd Cameo for Real but his real passion lays with the local gym where he drinks creatine like water and hits the weights....
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Matt Reynolds
"Renoit'"
Profile: A Real player through and through despite being elevated to the 1st team, Renoit' gives 100% even when running on 0 hours sleep. Amid rumours that he can barely breathe under his girlfriends thumb, Renoit' is keen to prove he is still a man and can be seen swallowing as many shandy's as possible in the club pub, The Railway...
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Charlie Benson
"Squirell "
Profile: As Richard Hadgkis's apprentice, Squirell is under constant scrutiny; his girly, lightweight frame being the usual area of criticism. Despite this though, he has somehow been moved up a level and even managed to blag a MoM award for his troubles!!
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Will King
"The Whisper"
Profile: A talented young member of the team, Will is inspired by his often over enthusiastic dad, Rich; With will pulling the strings in the middle of the park and Rich cheerleading from the side, Real are sure to win everything this season!!!!
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Ben Andersson
"Bandersson"
Profile: Another new addition to the team this year, Bandersson soon settled and despite drinking like a girl and failing to fulfill social duties, he has been welcomed by the team; especially now his girlfriend comes to the pub post match...
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Troy Judas Weaven
"Why doesn't anyone at Real think im any good????"
Profile: Having witnessed this ratty little Judas running around aimlessly last season, Real fans will be pleased to know that Troy has transferred to lower league club; CHQ. Speaking after completing his move, Troy stated,"I feel my skillset will be much better suited to playing for a, lets say, less technically gifted team and i am pleased to finally be playing at a club with great management and Real prospects(no pun intended im sure!).." For sentimental fans wishing to catch a glimpse of their forgotten star, you can find Troy playing out his days in the relegation battle for the forthcoming season in Ciren Div 1.
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Mark Saunders
"Mutley"
Profile: A player whose career should have finished long ago, Mutley refuses to go into a tackle with any less than 8 studs showing; A great role model for the young lads, tho he has shown signs of not being able to drink like a man. His experience and know how will no doubt prove an inspiration to the team this season...
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George Tertois
"The Turtle "
Profile: A player who has always struggled to get out of his older, harder brothers shadow, George is now beginning to flourish under new mentor "mutley" and when Jill lets him out, he does actually play alright....
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Sam Bird
"No Neck"
Profile: Having struggled earliar in his career due to his inverted neck, Bird has finally learnt how to head the ball and is finally on the right track to eclipsing his idol, Richard Hadgkis...Watch this space!
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Sam Davies
"The Touch"
Profile: A "sticky fingers" graduate who offers un-rivalled passion and world class penalty stopping ability, he does sometimes forget to catch the ball though and is forced to make up for it with endless sulking afterwards...
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